Hey Dreamcatcher :-)
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A few weeks ago, I send out this one to my personal Dreamcatchers and it has been the Newsletter with the most clicks (might be related to the title, what do you think? ;-) ):
Yes F***! This 4 letter word which can mess up our whole freakin life.
It paralyses us to take action towards:
the things we want to be doing
living the life we know we're destined to live
talking to people of whom we know we're supposed to connect with
and sooo much more.
And yes, I am talking about Fear.
Whenever I get over my fear of talking to strangers about me (specifically my path in job, coaching, studies, etc), I get the same reaction everytime:
"Oh my god, that's amazing!". I then ask myself: Why am I afraid of talking about it, when I know that majority of people find my story fascinating?
Because we all have a different perception about things. Luckily, right? It would be terrible if we would all like and dislike the same thing. Imagine, we would all fall for that one specific person. All the other millions of people would be left alone, humanity would disappear because there would be no reproduction and whatsoever :-D
As I already mentioned in my blogpost, fear is "just" an emotion. Recent studies have shown that we actually have 27 emotions and not just 6, like assumed so far. That makes it feel already more bearable, doesn't it?
But then: there is not just fear. The biggest fears that we have today are fear of failure, of success, of judgement, etc.
I'm curious to know what yours are. Why don't we start a discussion about it in my Facebook group?
I found something really wonderful:
You're not scared of the dark,
You're scared of what's in it.
You're not scared of heights,
You're afraid of falling.
You're not afraid of the people around you,
You're afraid of rejection.
You're not afraid to love,
You're afraid of being loved back.
You're not afraid to let go,
You're just afraid that they're really gone.
You're not afraid to try again,
You're just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.
Fear comes of "not knowing" and protecting us from danger. It is an instinct that has been transferred through generations. The tricky thing is, that we are mostly not exposed to real life-threatening danger anymore in 21st century. We rarely meet monsters with the clear objective to kill us.
Little story: There's the good guy fear and the bad guy fear.
Meet the good guy:
"Hi, I'm instinctual. I arouse when you get in a life-threatening situation (like a burning house). My job is to keep you safe, because I truly care. As soon as your mind tells me you're ok, I'm out the door and grateful that you're doing great"
Meet the bad guy a.k.a. Fake Dramaqueen:
"Hi, do you know that everything is a threat? You could actually die if you do what you do. Seriously! Imagine if that person tells you they don't like you anymore. You could stop breathing and just drop dead on the floor. They would disappear of your life because they truly don't love you. Or imagine if you would try that thing again - ok, you survived last time, but you were so damn close, right? - you could die this time! That thing could be even worse and you would die even harder! I really don't want you to go through that pain. Oh no, really not!"
So often, the good guy turns into the bad guy. That's a tragedy, dont' you think? The one true thing, that can really keep us safe today, is knowledge. Informing ourselves about what we're afraid of, takes a lot of pressure off.
One of Fear's best friends is Change, by the way. They are so close, that you could get jealous. Every change goes through a cycle and in the middle it meets Fear. Fear tells Change to stop right here, because there's danger coming ahead.
All this chit chat makes us feel unworthy and confused. This for sure applies for me. Does it keep me from doing what I'm doing? Nope.
I am moving on because I know: if some are not going to be ok with what I do, I know that I already have and will meet even more who absolutely love what I do. And is there anything more precious than being loved for the true, authentic person that you are? Being fully accepted for your true, authentic self? Without changing anything about your thoughts, behavior, looks, lifestyle, etc?
Inform yourself and find the ones who support you! And by the way, do you know that I am here to help you with that? That I am the biggest missionary in being your true, authentic self and helping you to tell that bad guy to go smell some roses?
Time to catch your dreams and take the good guy along the way ;-)
Big hugs to you,