Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

Hey Dreamcatcher :-)

I wish I could say that I woke up one day, looking in the mirror saying: Baaaam! This is what you would love to do, this is your purpose, this is the way how you can help people feel better.

It hasn’t…We can be our own worst enemy, right? Our reflection so often criticizes us and is picking up on small things that no one in this world would care about. And the world really doesn’t need to care about it ;-)

What did my reflection tell me? It actually passed on the perceptions of people around me:

  • what are you doing here?

  • what about your so and so certification?

  • what about after your studies?

  • what about the former job that you were so passionate about, wouldn't you want to pursue that?

  • what about your talents?

  • what about your hobbies? and the list goes on and on and doesn't stop.

It is so easy to give in and run down that rabbit hole. I decided to stop. Stop looking at my reflection in the mirror and repeating all these projections that others have passed upon me.

There are breaking points in everyone's life where you choose to:

  1. wrap yourself in everyone's opinion and live a frustrated life not knowing why and how to get out of it, or

  2. start owning your truth and take those opinions as a fuel to get to know yourself better than anyone. 

Have you ever answered questions above to yourself? Sitting at home on your bed, on the couch, in the bathtub or wherever and asking yourself these questions? I have. My answers have always been leading to more questions: {insert "Cry me a River" by Justin Timberlake here}.

  • why are you such a loser?

  • why are you doing all these things and doing absolutely nothing with it?

  • why can't you just stay submitted to what you thought was your passion? 

Until I listened to a whisper saying: because you have not just one passion, you have sooo many varieties in your colorful life.

Self-Esteem…so hard to build up and so easy to destroy, don’t you agree? How come?

Imagine yourself being build of layers. Under these layers lies a beautiful core that is longing to radiate through to this beautiful world. A core that longs for connection and love. And a core which light has been dimmed by layers of fear, frustration, shame, doubt, sadness, envy, etc.

Over the years, the more people we encounter, the more experiences we get, the more we are exposed to this world-the more we’re building up those layers.

And if that wasn’t enough, there are those who tell us, how we “should/could” add value to ourselves. This is helpful, if it comes from a place of true compassion and intention to help. Yet, how many times do we hear others tell us, how we “should/could” do certain things in order to be more… (fill in the blank) just to feel more miserable?

Sometimes it’s already sufficient to see that disappointed look, to hear the angry tone of someone’s voice, to feel someones push. And often, we are unconsciously exposed to those situations over and over again.

There are steps you can take to strengthen that core.

First step: Awareness. That’s it. Simple word, challenging action.

Second step (and yes, you’ll hear/read me over and over again): be gentle with yourself. The world and our inner critics can already be harsh enough, that it’s time to give yourself some love.

Once you are able to take these two steps, it’s time to do some scary stuff. I’ll share an excercice with you, that has been helping me: ask for feedback. Oh my god, big step outside the comfort zone, right? I am not talking about asking feedback from strangers but from people that are close to you. Yes! Especially if you’re thinking that you have a pretty good self-perception, you would be surprised of the effect, getting feedback from closed ones.

We all have a few people in our lives who know us, who spend the majority of time with us, right? Family, Friends, Co-Workers.

Here’s the challenge: Ask at least 3 people to write down 3 positive Attributes about you (if they’re courageous, more ;-) ). And then watch magic happen! If you want to be courageous, then share it with someone else ;-) Would be a great opportunity to share it in my Facebook Group, don’t you think?

Then my favorite work: Mirror work! We spend 24h in our bodies, it is time to see, acknowledge and love everything about it. Aren’t mirrors one of best invention ever? It makes rooms look bigger, helps us to check on our hair, and supports us in building up our confidence. The reason why mirror work is so powerful, is because we activate more than just one sense. If we would read it silently, great. It might stay somewhere in our brain. If we say it loud, our brain hears it. If we do that in front of the mirror, it even sees us saying it. Picture it like hitting the hammer on that affirmation nail, hitting it in our subconscious ;-) One of the women who brought that work to the masses, was Louise Hay (see her explanation here).

Hoping that those small insights will be helpful to you :-) Looking forward to your stories and to start catching your dreams

Anabell :-)

Dreamcatcher CoachComment