My Journey to/through Creativity
Hey Dreamcatcher :-)
First of all, thank you very much for being on this journey with me.
In case you need a gentle reminder: Life is an ongoing process, there is no such thing as an arrival and there shouldn't be, at least for me. Because well, what would I be doing otherwise: constantly thinking about the next big step. At some point that can be very useful, like looking for being happy again after a breakup, right?
The thing though with those "arrivals" is, that it puts soooo much pressure on us, don't you agree?
Let me share a little something about my journey:
If you are on this page and reading this, chances are, that you are interested in knowing about me.
My name is Anabell, and this is exactly where it starts: my full name since i can think is Ana Belinda, yet my passport only mentions Belinda. Growing up and having moved one too many times in my teenage years, I constantly had to explain my name. Because of course, I held onto people calling me Anabell and not Belinda, like it would say on the Namelist that teachers were reading down. Can you imagine that there were teachers who refused calling me Anabell?? - Guess what they got? right! no response whenever they would call me Belinda haha. Of course, that wasn't very helpful, as that influenced my grades, but that's another story. All that to say, that this whole life is what you make of it and not what other people's perception is.
I decided to call myself the Dreamcatcher Coach. Why? Because since ever I dream, like every child. Some laugh at me whenever they see me walking on the street with my headset on and being completely in another world. (Note: In case you ever see me floating near you and I don't greet you, please do not take it personal, I am just dreaming of me killing the stage with a killer song or I see myself somewhere in the middle of a field, running around and chasing rainbows)
How many of you have heard "you can't do that! you don't earn money with that!"? Well, why does it always have to earn money? Who said you can't be creative in your free time and still be happy with it? And excuse me: who knows, maybe one day someone is going to see your art and pay you for it without you forcing it? - It can all happen, really ;-)
I can not even count the times where I have heard or seen those very doubting facial expressions that made me feel very worthless, whenever I would share dreams. And yet, everyone loved to see me dance, hear me sing, see my drawings or read my stories. Even if I kept it very restricted - because you know, you don't want to push anyone to far out of their comfort zone. More precisely and honestly, you don't want to push yourself out of your comfort zone. That's what it is in the end. It is about you, my dear...
We are afraid of being judged, especially by those who we care about the most. We have these things we love to do growing up, and we hold onto to them. They make us happy, but for some reason those around us don't get the reason why we could spend so much time on so "useless" things. They instead want us to do something that brings value=money, career, because this is how you live a life. Those are limiting beliefs! Yes, you're welcome! So often, they are so anchored in our unconsciousness that we live with them without even questioning.
I am seriously tired and sad to hear so many stories of people telling me "ah i wished i could have...ah i always wanted to, but....ah if only....ah the moment is not right..." > limiting belief, limiting belief, limiting belief! Yes, sorry not sorry. The truth sometimes hurts. But just like pulling of a plaster, you remove it for 2 reasons:
1: The wound is almost gone. Even if it did hurt like hell in the beginning, but it's almost gone. You don't need external protection anymore. Translation: You are enough
2: You want to replace it for a new one to accelerate the healing process. Translation: In becoming aware, healing can start
My creative coma started with the question "What job are you going to chose to make money?". Whatever answer I would bring, I always got the reply "That's not a job, you don't make money with this". This coma lasted for years. I have been chasing the calm, secure and safe life. You know, the life that pays your rent, your holiday, your assurance, your clothes, your pets, your so called life.
But what it really cost me: my true authentic self... and my biggest and most powerful way of expressing myself and connecting with others.
Also, I am a huge introvert and growing up i have heard so many people telling me that i don't talk "enough". Oh well...it seriously didn't even bother me. However, my unconscious told me through these sayings that my voice is useless. All of this together has made feel like living in a cage. To a point that it hurt so much that I decided to throw a curtain over it. I shut out everything to not see how many people are making a living with what I wanted to do.
After some really painful years, I made the decision to stop. Stop the dark, Stop the living in a cage, Stop listening to others perception of what they didn't understand.
It started with a painting class, it moved on to dancing, singing etc. I remember the first time standing again in a dance studio and seeing my reflection in the mirror (by the way, my teenager-me was a killer dancer striving to be a professional dancer): There I was, in my 30ies feeling like a child again, feeling like it never stopped being there. And you know what? It has always been there waiting to be seen to tell me "Thank you" - Thank you for seeing me, Thank you for valuing me, Thank you for feeding my heart and soul.
This is why I am more than ever driven to helping others get clear on being their true authentic self and to live a happy life. It starts with reconnecting to our dreams, right? You know it does ;-)
What is your inner child longing for? Let me know, let’s exchange and uplift each other and let's begin this journey in catching those dreams!